Counselling and Hypnotherapy

What is couples counselling?

Couples counselling (or relationship counselling) is an effective form of talking therapy which allows you to resolve issues within an intimate relationship.

Very few relationships exist conflict-free - whether it’s the odd disagreement, repeatedly arguing or you’ve lost the fun element in your relationship - it’s natural to start to question its longevity. In contrast to counselling for relationship problems, which can be undertaken solely through individual sessions, couples counselling is a term applied to talking therapy for two people within a relationship.

The aim of this type of therapy is to help you and your partner gain a better understanding of negative patterns and behaviours within the relationship, as well as providing you with new tools, ideas and perspectives to help you to get your relationship back on track. This type of therapy can successfully help you gain a sense of warm and loving connection with your partner again. 

There are many different concerns that might bring you to couples counselling, ranging from a lack of communication to a betrayal or affair.

Some common issues that can be explored through couples counselling include:

• lack of trust
• betrayal or affair
• jealousy
• lack of communication
• financial issues
• work-related stress
• different sexual needs or other sexual issues
• family conflicts
• different goals and values
• different parenting styles
• life changes

This list is not exhaustive, and every situation is unique. Whatever your concern is, speaking to a professional is often a helpful step forward.

How can it help me?

When we’ve been in a relationship or marriage for a long time, it can be easy to fall into a trap of not listening to the other person, or not communicating our needs clearly. We sometimes find ourselves drifting away from our partner. This could be due to the pressures of life circumstances, stress at work, or other commitments such as family and children.  These issues can be heightened when a couple has chosen to live together, to get married, or have children, or are bereaved. These circumstances bring extra demands which are bound to impact on a relationship.

Even if your relationship has lost its intimacy or you are arguing more than ever, it doesn’t mean that things are completely over or are not worth saving.

The overall aim of couples counselling is to help you:

• reconnect and/or rediscover moments of connection
• rediscover physical and emotional intimacy
• better understanding of yours and your partner’s needs
• understand how external factors such as family values, religion, lifestyle and culture affect your relationship
• reflect on the past and how it operates in the present
• communicate in a more constructive way
• learn why arguments escalate
• negotiate and resolve conflicts where possible

As your counselling sessions progress, you and your partner may find a way of overcoming your problems or decide it’s time to part ways. Either way, counselling will offer you the space to grow and ultimately, decide what you would like the future to hold for both of you.

What can you expect from me?

If you’re nervous about discussing private matters with a stranger, that’s completely natural and expected. I am not here to criticise you or take sides. I will provide you a space free of judgement where you can explore your feelings and emotions openly.

My role is to facilitate change and bring about a resolution by helping give you both understand yours and your partner’s needs, communicate more effectively and reach your own conclusions. I cannot give you the answers or tell you whether or not you should separate. However, I will provide you with new tools, ideas and perspectives to help you to get your relationship back on track. This will include monitoring progress, mediating conflict and giving you objective feedback.

At our first session, I will gather some basic information and we will discuss and agree how we will work together. This usually takes the form of exploring your issues from the perspective of both partners, to gain greater understanding of your own and your partner’s needs and behaviours.

From this understanding, we develop some goals. For example: “to improve effectiveness of communication” or “to rediscover physical and emotional intimacy”.  The goal(s) will be specific to you and decided by you. We will then work together to make the changes necessary to achieve these goals.